JENNY puts the candle down
listen, why do you think i’ve been silent this whole time?
i was scraping myself from the wreckage
reminded being human is a lie
afterthought of a family that have given up asking
scared to acknowledge failure
sick in their own bravery
choking on their own –
i don’t know how long i can
keep up the guise of
tenderness in this debris
adulthood is just anxiety with
no means of escape
each morning shoves a new handful
in my face and asks me to
scrub harder be softer be better
soft enough queer enough
daughter enough sister enough
good enough
am i doing this right?
am i doing this right ?
desperate for things to be the way they were
forgetting that i too have made changes
that i cannot function the way i did
that my body has new ideas ideals and catches
it catches me
i try to fill the loss with noise but
my voice is untrained
FOR OUR TRANSCENSTORS , FRIENDS, LOVERS AND QUEER STRANGERS THAT LEFT US TOO SOON.MAY YOU REST IN POWER! FOR THE MANY TIMES WE DIDN’T TAKE THE TIME TO CRY
CAT
Here shall rave eternally in fabulous looks
The creep and the weirdo
The tranny and the fag
The junky and the scary
The norm-core and the hardcore porn babes with lit cigarettes sprinkled with coke and sexual
revolution etched on their lips, and dicks,
cunts and balls,
With carpe diem, bitch live like there’s no tomorrow written all over their breasts
If entering through a door can trigger the brain to forget
I wonder: clubs with no doors or remembrance as a community practice?
In the dream, a shadow marking movements
With choreographic poise told the story of so many nights unslept
We forget our dead it spoke
Left a chems trail in the air
and then it went away
Wait, just stay
Can I sob you back into existence Reece, darling ?
photography Roni Lugassi
Queerdos FEIRG
‘‘that’s grief, backwards’’
With
Jenny Browne
Henry Boles
Cat Jugravu
Micha Kaplan
Concept and staging Queerdos Kollektiv
Music composition
Micha Kaplan
Costumes
Don Aretino
Photography
Roni Lugassi
Production Management
Simona Klaniute
Sound engineering Rey KM Domurat
Set assistance Vinzenz Hangler
Stage management Geovanne Pedro de Bortoli
Special thanks Mikey Woodbridge
When grief is so deep, it leaves you numb and wandering
When how becomes why
And what you live
And you become I. Stage one
FEIRG is the epitomized embodiment (in a performative context) of grief brought on stage by 4 experts. 3 queer spoken word experts and a musician, that are no strangers to the experience are invited on stage to open up a space for catharsis to take hold of the audience. Think clear and clean, carpet and microphone - spoken word performance kissed by contrabas notes . The quintessential Queerdos experience. FEIRG names and talks about the five stages of grief. Each performer re-tells stories of grief in relation to one step of the five. They become Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
We are all familiar with grief in one way or another. Although "we've all done it "might seem facetious and an easy bonding element, with FEIRG, we want to inquire if the queer body and mind experiences grief similarly or all upside-down, inside-out, queer-ed, messy, dirty. We want to approach grief not only through the lens of the death of a loved one but also generated by losing oneself, a community or safe space, the queer mind dealing with instability, doubt and insanity.
Queerdos FEIRG is a Queerdos Kollektiv 2022 production, commisioned for the WHOLE Festival